Friday, August 19, 2011

Day 8- 30 Day Blog Challenge

Day 8: A place you've traveled to

I guess I have three choices, my family's Florida road trip when I was 11, my spring break trip with my two roomies and parents to Washington D.C. my sophomore year of college, or my spring break trip to Pennsylvania with my bestie and parents lol. I loved Washington D.C. even though I didn't get to see everything I wanted because of time constraints, I definitely want to go back with Matt because he has never been there and it is something I want to do right at least once. Pennsylvania was fun too, went to Hershey and visited a friend who was living there.

It would definitely be easier to write about where I want to many places. I would love to make it to all 50 states someday and maybe even out of the country even if just to Canada, lol. I want to see a true big city and the actual middle of nowhere even though I feel as if I live there most of the time. I would love to see Europe, especially Paris and Rome. I never see myself accomplishing all of this but a girl can dream. Given the choice between buying a house and starting a family and traveling all over, I would pick starting a life right here in the area I grew up. A strange concept to some but I can't imagine leaving this place, my whole life is here even if that seems small and insignificant to some.

This post seems to be changing topics lol, to get back on track, here are some pics from the few travels I have taken :)

After our stint working in the Hershey factory

On our way to DC

After my computer crashed I lost all my pictures and these were all I could find to steal from Facebook. This is just a reminder of how sad my computer crashing makes me for sure. Years of memories just gone, except for some of them that I have printed. this just goes from one thing to the next I guess, can't keep my train of thought straight. Brain is tired. That's all for now

Tuesday, August 9, 2011


He calms the storm, so that its waves are still -Psalm 107:29 NKJV

I open my devotional that I have been meaning to start a couple of days ago and storms are the first topic. It blew me away. I needed this verse. It is so easy to forget that God is everything and has provided me with everything I have ever needed. To become so wrapped up in what I want and think that I need at this very moment. I have spent much of my time since I began to believe, trying to wrap my head around that and I still struggle every single day. I have plans and think that God should just answer my prayers so that the pain and confusion and just everything can be so much better. Not so....God has this plan which is what people always say but I have seen it. God has used so many things in my life to pull me back or show me something that wasn't clear. The last couple of days I have been in a funk and I can't get out of it. I want to stay in bed, sleep until things get better. Another thing that doesn't work, in order for God to do something, I have to do something.

The will to keep going, keep applying, keep hope, keep faith is so hard to hang on to. I keep losing my grip. Depending on things to just fall into place instead of helping them to get there. I miss the routine that high school and college gave me. I feel like I am wandering, to places I don't want to go back to again. I want to walk with purpose in a direction but really, honestly can not figure out that direction. Some days I just break down and cry, more often now than in the past. Matt and I are getting married in 10 months and I have no idea what we are going to do. Living with my parents is not an option after the marriage, that has pretty much been made clear. Not that I would really want to, at least not for too long, the stress of living here is another thing weighing me down. I want to have hope and faith and know beyond a reasonable doubt that God is moving me towards the greater good here, and somewhere buried inside I do know that. Forgetting has become far too easy. I am not grounded enough in my faith and have known this for quite some time. I need to get back to doing devotionals and reading the Bible, to being proactive about a job, finances, my faith, my relationships even.

After struggling through a couple bouts of depression, I have become familiar with the signs and this feels all too familar even though the cirumstances are completely changed. I have not let a relationship ruin my emotional health, instead I have a relationship that keeps me above the water, someone to hug me, hold me, listen to me babble even though he does not quite understand at all times, he tries and for that I can never thank him enough. I can never thank him enough for saving me. He was there at the perfect moment, hence I know God has a plan. My heart had to shatter so that God, friends, family, faith, hope, and the love of my life could help put it back together and put things in perspective for me. I have not been through the trauma that some have had to experience but the emotional and mental roller coaster I was on for a long time, not too long ago, took its toll. I feel myself slipping back into the black, I am holding on but not for dear life, only enough to stay above water as I said before. I don't know how to convey these feelings to others when most of it is my doing.

I am the one who has not taken life by the reins but instead let it steadily pass by me, floating on contentment which is slightly underlied by disappointment, sadness, and a basic feeling of loss that I can not shake. The words of "Fly Away" by Sugarland came on as I began this and the words resonate so deeply with me as they did a few years ago.

Angel carry me, oh so far away

May my body never touch the ground
And if I promise you that I'll be back someday,

will you set me free so I can fly away?

Wednesday, August 3, 2011

Day 7- 30 Day Blog Challenge

Day 7: Favorite movies

My tastes in movies vary far and wide. At one end there is my love of football movies and the other is my love for movies that give you a good cry. And I like a little bit of everything in between.

Some of my favorite football movies are Remember the Titans, Friday Night Lights, Rudy, The Blind Side and The Longest Yard. I also have a love for Disney movies especially Beauty and the Beast, all 3 of the Aladdin movies, The Lion King and Hercules. Meet the Robinsons is another great movie. Some of my favorite chick flicks are 27 Dresses, Made of Honor, both of the Sex and the City movies, The Women, Dirty Dancing, and many more.

I also have a list of go to movies for crying.....sad but true lol. A Walk to Remember makes me cry everytime. Others include Terms of Endearment, Titanic, Steel Magnolias, and my newest favorite Fireproof.

I also have to mention Harry Potter, all 7 of them, help to give life to the amazing books. And there are a couple action movies that have caught my attention including Law Abiding Citizen, The Conspirator, Gone in 60 Seconds....and a few more which I am too sleepy to come up with.

There are so many good movies out there, I feel there is no way to narrow it down, this list is in no way complete and someday I may have to render that injustice but for now the pillow calls my name....